Charlie Chaplin: A Pioneer of Body Language Skills

Loratis welcome you for the year 2012!We hope this year gives you a good career growth and keeps you in pink health.

We bring you series on ‘Communication Skills and Body Language’ for Jan 2012. Here I present the first article on this topic. I am continued to ask, ‘How do I improve Spoken Communication Skills?’ I have taught many people, if you feel your strength cannot be spoken, then work on your body language skills. I say this, because everyone cannot learn languages at the same pace, doesn’t rule out the option of know the minimum required spoken communication skills. I feel the perception carried by people ‘Communication means English’ is perhaps not the right way. To validate some of the points as said above,’Speech was probably first developed between 2 million and 500,000 years ago, before then the body language and sounds made in the throat were the main forms of conveying emotions and feelings and perhaps its true to date. The people before the spoken language was developed, had high ability to read person’s attitude and their thoughts was perhaps the original communication system used.

Early 1890 till 1930 film industry had silent films, one of the most well-known and pioneer was Sir Charles Spencer (popularly known as Charlie Chaplin) was a great English comic actor, film director and composer. He was one of the best pioneer in using body language skills during silent film era. Each character (actor’s) skill was classed as good and bad by the extent use of body gestures and signals to communicate the audience. Charles Darwin in 1872 wrote most influential work ‘The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animal’, on body language. Similarly Albert M 1950′s findings are worth to mention, his findings were – only 7 percent of verbal communication was used against the 55 percent through body language. Another pioneer, Anthropologist Ray Birdwhistell estimated that an average a person actually speaks for ten to eleven minutes a day and the average sentence takes only about 2.5 seconds. He estimated that a person can make and recognize 2,500 facial expressions. Many researchers are of an opinion that, body language is used as a substitute for verbal messages and negotiating interpersonal attitudes. This all means, words are used for conveying information. The most fascinating thing about us (human beings) is that our posture, movements and gestures tells one thing and our voice tells another thing.

Stay tuned for next article on ‘Are Women more perceptive than Men?’- An ability to read body language

We welcome your suggestions and comments!

Integrity: The State of Being Whole!

This is my last article for the year 2011 and I hope you all enjoyed reading articles. Loratis team thank you for your constant support and encouragement. We owe you a lot!

According to Dictonary.com ‘Integrity means the state of being whole (adherence to moral and ethical principles or honesty). This is one of highest ranked parameter for a company to hire a candidate. It’s very easy for philosopher or God Men to teach through Bible, Quran, Bhagavad Gita about ‘Good and Bad People’, but we forget these ideals when it’s inconvenient. For example, jumping the signals in the traffic is quite commonly seen among us. I am not sure if there is a some way to put a score of integrity over people’s foreheads. Do I judge others by own values or their action with their proclaimed values? If integrity was a symbol of status like designation (at work), house etc then the challenges were limited to identify the integrity, unfortunately it’s not! But one needs to keep a tab on their integrity. In the previous article as it said, fulfillment of life depends upon integrity and this in turn does not depend on world things (money). Considering Satyam Computers, Common Wealth Games, Bellary Mines and the sub-prime crisis, one story of this age is lost integrity. How do I push things the other way?

We wish you a great year 2012 ahead!

Is ‘Technology’ a ‘Missing Link for Social and Personal Progress’?

History has witnessed 20th and 21st century to be most technologically advanced century, also had the most bloodshed. This doesn’t refer saying the former has caused the later, unfortunately it didn’t prevent it. We also see that many information leaked through web are misleading. Does the new technology guarantee nothing? When I ask this questions, I mean has it given us more freedom, personal enlightenment, reduced cruelty and fulfillment. I am sure all these depends upon less on technology and more on self-awareness and will to achieve. I shall give set of examples to validate these –

1. There were no mobile phones but still people kept in touch. Perhaps we had a greater and stronger relations.
2. Great researcher (William Gilbert, Isaac Newton) or Philosopher (Buddha, Socrates) and Messenger (Jesus) did all their deed without dream of electricity.
3. There were no playstation, still social and personal life was strong through street plays.

Whether its Android phone or any other revolution will have hardly be prime movers in social progress as we see that history says, technology is rarely a missing link; as opposed to the our self-awareness and commitment to change often are. I am not trying hard to say that technology doesn’t help, but the heavy lifting is always on us.

Courtesy: Scott B

Loratis Workshop at GAT Bangalore

A Technique to Probe

I cover an important module in my presentation on ‘Questioning Techniques’. As we know that information available today is easy accessible, cheap and many a times worthless because not questioning the information itself. There were many headlines carrying talking about unemployment rate hit and no hiring in Nov 2011 (specific to U.S.A), a man bite a dog, Kareena Kapoor kissed Shahid Kapoor, political never ending saga and others, but what are we to do about this? Why did it happen? Who was responsible? and many other questions. I have a question to think about these information – ‘‘who decides these are the best things to tell us and why?” Any news has become sensational one – from birth (cradle) to death (grave) as if we are waiting to hear all these, is it that important to us? To summarize Rakhi ka Insaaf or Big Boss (a serial in one of the TV), information is a form of not necessary or sensational and yet we’re inclined to this addiction.

It is quite unfortunate that wisdom for thinking about information has reduced over time, and asking good question about it can change it. My research guide (Dr. Shrihari, Professor at NITK, Surathkal) was seeking for the following answers – Do you have supporting data? Where was it said and why? Why did you adopt this methodology instead of another? It’s quite unfortunately that our education (conventional) system never taught the ‘Art of asking Good Questions’, as we rewarded mainly for ‘right answers’. The education system has made children handicap and not surprised to see the frustration and being directionless in personal and career life. I wish to see that we have examination for asking more questions to for a given solution. To certain degree this is implemented in some of B-Schools because the consulting roles demands this. I wouldn’t say that there is a radical change in education system, its done because role (in company or job) demands it. A distinction is needed in between ‘information’, ‘knowledge’ and ‘wisdom’ to align our energy to achieve better success. I recall asking a question to HR representative from Google at Indian Institute of Science, Bangalore (during their campus hiring) – ‘How authentic is Wikipedia?’ He paused for a while and said, it is written by people and can be changed if the information not found to be true. I began to understand that research and publications hardly accepts such information as valid to be quoted in reference section. May be we are confused with the technology progress with social and personal progress.

Stay tuned to know more about ‘What confusion am I talking about?’

Loratis Team Wishes You ‘Happy New Year’! God Bless You!

I want to be Popular and Good!

I ask this questions to quite a number of students during informal talks, Do you want to be popular or good or both? I often see a big pause or confusion hovering over their mind. Yes, definitely this confusion exists among many of us. There is an article at rediff(dot)com about ‘The Best (Good) Bollywood films of 2011′, the list goes like this – Tanu Weds Manu, The Dirty Picture, I Am, Shor in the City etc. The list didn’t have Ready, Bodyguard and others (listed under Bollywood’s Biggest Hits (popular) of 2011). This implies that popularity does not necessarily mean the best. Being popular will means appealing to most (everyone) and choice of most.

Being good is going to be scary to others, and makes others uncomfortable, which works against the popularity. As many statement in media says, Dr. Manmohan Singh, Prime Minister of India is honest (Good) person, Is he like Obama (Popular)? I am sure we would have seen in class, someone is popular but not good and vice-versa. Good people speaks their mind and didn’t always try to please everyone.

I am sure many of us out there are tempted to strive for popularity. Popular people make, do and say things others like, in the hopes of pleasing them (often seen among bureaucratic’s). There is absolutely right with this motivation and results might be appealing. But pleasing others might also give a notion of ‘neither good or bad’ person. This is because the popularity comes with a price tag and at times it becomes precidtable and meaningless. For example, When Poonam Pandey offered to strip in stadium if India won the 2011 World Cup Cricket. She is quoted in an IANS interview stating that the stripping comment worked for her and helped her in getting famous.This is quite predicted and meaningless for good people. A similar one was Rakhi ka Swayamvar.

I met a person by Nigel (a British) had his unique sense of what he think is good and insist on striving for it, no matter what anyone says. They don’t expect anyone to care, these people are interesting. May its stupidity of popular people not able to see the brilliance of good people. I felt this about many good students (academics may not be appealing).

In history and in present, it’s interesting to see how people (Gandhi, Vivekanada Swami, Abdul Kalam, Atal Bihari Vajpee, Shahrukh Khan, Madhuri Dixit) balanced popular vs. good challenge. They have won a tightrope. The challenges they have perhaps faced is – Once popularity is earned, people tend to want more of the same from them. It’s like a handcuffs to manage good and popular. The idea to balance good and popular is to learn to succeed, but also expect to fail occasionally if you are following your own rules of being good.

Am I ‘Busy’ with ‘No Purpose’?

When I was young I used to visit Bombay (now known as Mumbai) quite often and have seen people busy traveling, busy waiting for a train, busy walking, busy to reach office and busy to earn money. I felt busy people might be very important, otherwise why would they be so busy? In other words, busy mattered a lot over lazy ones. This is perhaps the cult of busy, by always involved in something, we assume the person must be important or achiever. This is perhaps applicable to some section of society. Who are other section of society?

The other section of society is one’s showcase that, by being busy – others would bother them less, and indication of doing well. It’s quite a trick. Don’t you think the opposite might be true? As time is the singular measure of life and we all get the same number of hours. A skill of spending time effectively perhaps to be mattered. For example, a person getting things done in 1-2 hours seems less busy than the person spending hours. The results (performance) mattered a lot than number of hours spent in achieving a task.

‘Rockstar’ movie depicts that being in demand can have good and bad causes. It’s quite common to see a line of people waiting to meet (and talk) our politician outside their office door seems busy, and therefore important. I don’t say to save time by cutting corners because, when exactly are you using the all that time you’ve saved? Time doesn’t work that way. We all agree the time savings goes in visiting mall (window shopping), movie halls, gossip, Soap serials (T.V.).

As I a student and professional, I don’t like the phrase ‘I am busy and don’t have time’. As we all get equal amount of time every day. As its not the quantity of time, its priority or importance. Let’s assume – I get some diseases (cancer), I’m sure to find time to visit doctor until it is cured. Where did this time magically come from? The earlier plan for tasks will now become less important. It reminds more of Jimmy Shergill’s character from ‘Munnabhai MBBS’, also subtly mentioned in the film and Vinay Pathak ‘Dasvidaniya’. If someone says ‘I don’t have time’, perhaps two conclusions drawn -
1. The tasks is not important enough to earn busy people time
2. A polite reminder that they’re not worthy.

Do we then say, busy people are time poor? Are they time debt? or Are they trying to do many things?

I enjoyed the company of my mother always. She made an attempt to meet close relatives, acquaintance and made new friends over a period of time. I could see a sense of satisfaction in making relations grow, she was time rich. She taught me to give surplus times of mine to others, perhaps sign or mastery, not incompetence.

I was saying ‘The Netherlands’ a destiny for ‘Free Thinkers’, I learn’t to say ‘Not Yes’ to everything. Because saying yes to everything will make me busy and less effective in achieving my goals. I like the way one of colleague Krithika Santosh says, ‘Walking alone during sometime in a day is only the time I have for myself’. I definitely agree to her view, something similar ways best thinkers had some of their best thoughts. This a great ability to pause, reflect and relax, to let the mind wander. Once the mind returns it is sharper, effective and output will be larger.

Courtesy: Scott B

A Messy Life: A Theory

I have some interesting observations about the world (life) is not going well and perhaps it applies to anyone. There are ample times, we have said to ourselves -
‘Why this happens only to me?’Oh God!
‘Why people don’t listen or understand me?’

1. People don’t listen: As Francois La Rochefoucauld says, “The reason why so few people are agreeable in conversation is that each is thinking more about what he intends to say than about what others are saying, and we never listen when we are eager to speak.” The person speaking feels that people aren’t listening and it makes they are not being heard. At times, compelling them to talk louder. Does talking louder makes people like listen? They might listen less, a negative feedback will loop and this leads to anger, quarrel, fights because we forgot to respect and acknowledge someone. This might be popular seen in schools and college classroom’s. It reminds of a popular a scene from Bollywood movie ‘Taal’ starred Aishwarya Rai, Akshaye Khanna and Anil Kapoor directed by showman Subhash Ghai – Manav (Akshaye Khanna) says to his uncle ‘If breaking the glass and raising voice makes truth then I have broken seven glasses, Makes me seven times more righteous?’. The four minute scene is worth a million watch.

It’s amazing to see change in behavior of people when someone truly listen them.

2. People don’t read: Among the ‘Ten Commandments’ in Bible, the sixth says, ‘Thou shalt not kill’. Most people (Christan, Jewish or Islamic) know about it. But truly speaking, there isn’t much reduced in killing. This indicates either we don’t read the things we claim we do, or we read them with incompetence, preventing ideas in the book from changing behavior.

These above two theory concludes that – we can receive more if we read things carefully, this will help to recognize that we were looking for wrong thing. Lets avoid the assumptions that we are listening and reading more on web, books and others, may be its an illusion. It is said that, the person with more authentic listening and reading will be happier, more connected and more successful at achieving things that matter. If you are in trouble ask yourself, Did I listen to others? Did I read it thoroughly?

Courtesy: Scott B

Worry: Reduce ‘Amithab Bachahan’ way

We all have a worrying quota: such a worry of exams to clear, facing someone, answering others, marrying someone and so on. If there is nothing actually to worry, we fill this quota by worrying about things that don’t really matter (EX: Why did a character die in the soap serial?). We have certainly have other things to fill our quota.

Like me most of us did worry about trivial, not significant things in past or continue to do so. The trick here is to shrink to worrying quota is Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Roti (Food), Kapada (Clothing), Makan (Shelter), Panni (Water) etc are more worth to worry about. Family and best friends are important and its worth a worry. Worry delays decision and I liked the methodology adopted in Sholay movie, Amithab Bachchan flips a coin to take decision and found to be healthiest way. This tells that decision made is important, rather than a bad choice of too much time to make one.

Amithab Bachahan character will help us to shrink worry quota by
1. Making decision are less important than we think
2. Worrying rarely helps in making better decision
3. Someone else making us to realize that, I way worrying too much about something and need to move on

The worry will generate fear, but how many of them have remained with us once they are passed as clouds, were worthy of that worry?

A Destiny for ‘Free Thinker’

We are chained to a post, in which mind is chained to some assumptions, philosophy, religion or any idea. The chain and the motivators using or framing these chain’s need to be questioned. Kaminey movie depicts the way Shahid Kapur (Charlie) confines his mind to a singular way of thinking and perhaps cannot be good. It’s quite appealing to many to us to follow a trend in communities, families, schools to blindly adopt without question. These aren’t evil in it, but it does not make us free thinker.

Lets see, ‘Why I say so?’ Traditional education system mostly teach us to memorize, reproduce and forget (many a times) by applying other people theories. How does this train us for other than performing these thoughtless behaviors in our lives? There are many things are considered as taboo in our societies, violation of traditions, are banned without teachers, leaders, parents, peers without understanding why.

‘Why cigarette and alcohol is legal, but marijuana criminal?’
‘Why being seen in underwear or nude embrassing, but are accepted with some amount of cloth?’

I call it as ‘Khala Ghoda’ (Black Horse) thinking and its accepted because someone said it. I am still in Scott B writing and he says, ‘Wisdon demands two questions: why do we believe what we believe? How do we know what we know?’ A free thinking perhaps have to brought up in schools, colleges, offices and at homes. I have seen parents embrassing the child: ‘Don’t ask, too many ‘why’ questions’. It’s good to admit fact of ignorance, and asking more questions. Questions will help us discover the ideas that bind us. We see some of the great thinkers (Swami Vivekananda, Gandhi, Nehru, Buddha, Ambedkar) had the ability to acknowledge, listen, understand and disapprove their assumptions. This lead to hunger for ideas, wiser view and opinions, and better faith. They broke the chain of wrong belief they had at all occasions.

When I first ate my food along (Un-Dutchables and Dutch) at a restaurant in a town of ‘The Netherlands’, one of colleague asked me, ‘Don’t you not like to use spoon or fork?’ I didn’t see Dutch people having an issue with my style of eating. Shouldn’t I do what I please? In a similar situation at a family wedding, I was warned for using left hand to serve a dish. Travel across the different countries taught me a set of rules are defined they are termed ‘Cultural Sensitivity’. I think many a times,’How trivial are these?’

Stay tuned to read why I said, ‘The Netherlands’ a destiny for ‘Free Thinker’?