There is ‘Nothing Like Small Thing’

We may not be able to do radical change as we’d like to, because of limits. But we can certainly do small things that would make more difference than we realize. If I get good service from any service provider (Waiter, Auto driver, Seller at shop etc), I can look the eye of service provider and thank for giving me the best service I’d had all day. Such a small act one might carry it the entire day or for a long term. Some of them might not want to accept this kind of praise and rewards, that’s fine. In-spite of this my cares and behaviors remains intact. But the reality is every likes to receive these small gestures.

I am pledging here to thank people who do things I value. For first time readers, thanks for reading. I shall leave you all with a funny thank you notes, smile at everyone, shake hands, hug, kiss and be a difference maker in the small world that is my own mind. None of my writing may matter to you, but I have a great hope you will consider what does and do something about it.

Loratis Workshop ‘Career Communication Skills’ at NGI

I Lied to You…

This is continuation to the article ‘The Last Lie..’, here we see ‘how to detect a lie?’. I see there are fire detectors in every house, apartments or even rooms in ‘The Netherlands’ and perhaps in many parts of world too. I am sure they would expect a fire at any moment, as they are not optimists. In order to find a lie, one has to question everything you hear or see. Many wisdom leaders expected ignorance. A questioning technique with intelligent probe and compassionately to sort out the difference.

People are waiting to feed an idea, an argument by asking question: ‘How do you know what you know?’Such challenging claims illuminates ignorance. I can quote ample examples:

‘Our services are best in the world’ Really? How do you say so?
‘Studies show that man can be at venus’ What studies? Who ran them and why? Did you actually read the study or a two sentence summary? Are there any studies that claim opposite claim?

We can notice the person often can’t answer quickly when you ask such question. Even the great thinkers need time to establish their logic and separate assumptions from facts. It’s often seen, people giving opinion or a guess with no data, these may be fine, but those claims are weak. We tend to stuff things up.

We all know that a solid idea and concept will maintain its decorum how were it’s shaken by others. But a lie will surface up. It’s like a magical experience to eyes, but its fake when it lands in your hands. A lie will seek urgency: it will resist reviews, discussion, consultations etc. It is always recommended not to make big decisions under constraints or pressure. Welcome experts opinion or decisions to add intellectual pressure or hire a consultant to create constraints. These habits will create hostile environments for liars.

Liars will use Jargon and beclouding in huge quantities. These make people feel stupid. I always felt that, if I didn’t understand something, it’s writers or speaker fault, not mine. In other words see if you see confidence in reduction.

Thank you for your likes to the previous article and constant encouragement! Good Day!

Loratis Flagship and TradeMark Program ‘Crack the Campus Aptitude Code’ at BNMIT, Bangalore

The Last Lie…

We have heard ample times from others or we have said – ‘I don’t like liars’. But the fact is ‘Everyone lies’, it’s just a question of how, why, and when. At times late to work, meeting, campus interviews movies we kinda invent a story to protect ourselves. We may not mean to harm, although collateral damage often happens.

This is because truth manipulation is part of the human condition. Let’s accept it now. It’s quite unfortunate to see that lies, destroy relationships, because it is believed that trust is a binding force to bind each others.

Why people lie?

The first lie (Western history) comes from the Gensis (Old Testament). God created Adam and Eve, God told the man and woman that it was their job to take care of their new home. God blessed them, saying, “All this is for you. Help yourself to anything you like. But never touch the tree in the middle of the Garden. That tree gives knowledge of good and evil. The day you eat its fruit, you will die.” Serpent tempted Eve, so she and Adam had a breakfast, God appears and scolds Adam – who blames Eve which results in everyone, animals and people, getting thrown out of Eden forever. If I look at it, nearly everyone lied. God had created a ambiguity (as it was deceptive ‘Knowledge of good and evil’) may be termed as a lie. As Adam understood that fruit will not cause any great disaster. As ‘death’ was never explained before. Serpent misrepresents the fruit’s power, and Adam encourage the lie by pointing to Eve.

Having said this, people lie to protect themselves. A need (cherish) and fear (confrontation) are vital reasons perhaps many times a lie pop up. There is a clear psychological need motivating every lie. In order not to be caught, many of us imagine improbable stories: accidents, illness (onion fever), traffic (commonly seen). We tend to reinvent physics, chemistry, biology and mathematics. The stress of inventing and maintaining a lie is harder than just telling the truth. Yet we don’t.

I shall tell you a story told by a faculty to me, “On an examination day four students showed up late. All four said, the car wheel tyre (one of the wheel tyre) was punctured and it took more time to reach. Please allow us to write and be considerable to give us extra time. The teacher agreed to this and asked them to take four seats in the four different corner of the class. All four students felt that they have won a battle. Teacher gave a question to answer as part of examination, Which side of the wheel tyre was punctured?.”

We also lie because its a gamble. Did you lie to your friends, parents or relatives about your grades, girl or boy friends or where you were yesterday late night? I am sure we did lie and continue to do so. We like the innocence projection. We want others to see us better than we see ourselves. It’s funny and sad to see that, we believe we are alone in this great temptation, and we feel ashamed of it. As human’s we have weak moments of fear of loss and greed to gain – tends to melt our brains tempting us to lie we wish were true. Saying all this, the deepest honesty is from those willing to admit to their lies and own the consequences.

In the next article we will see how to identify the lie. I hope you enjoyed reading this article and my last lie is ‘This is my last article.’ Good Day! See you soon!

Career is at Doldrums?

I bring this article through experience of interaction and working with teachers and students. I have a strong foresee of ‘Career at Doldrums’ or ‘Career at Stake’ for many budding job aspirants and many working professional in India. I have mentioned about ‘mundane’ kind of education system in earlier articles and this kind of eduction system has a greater role on ‘Unhappy Listlessness.’ I always prefer to give and project a bigger career and life to each one, this doldrum can be overcome by the following checklist manifesto -

a. Worship Thy Research: Identify a researcher or fellow member from your campus or university, they would usually welcome assistance with their research projects. This can also be a great way to get some exposure and experience before an organisation knocks for campus interviews.
b. Hobby Project: They make a big deal in cracking a biggies like Google, Microsoft, Yahoo!, Facebook, Apple, Amazon and others. For example – In 1965, Yale University undergraduate Frederick W. Smith wrote a term paper about the passenger route systems used by most airfreight shippers, which he viewed as economically inadequate. Smith wrote of the need for shippers to have a system designed specifically for airfreight that could accommodate time-sensitive shipments such as medicines, computer parts and electronics. Though the idea was rejected by the panel members, he executed, the idea for Federal Express was born: a company that revolutionized global business practices and now defines speed and reliability.
c. Teach Others: Teaching assistant will help your professor to see you ‘in action.’ Many a times these helps you get a stronger letter of recommendation if needed anytime down the road. A stronger relationship with your teachers also provides you recommendations for jobs, as well great guidance academical and professionally. I always set a goal to know most of professor, it has surely paid dividends in the past and continues to do so.

Education institutes in India, if they want to win the rat-race they have overcome the ‘Placement View’ and provide the above checklist manifesto to compete.The manifesto will take care of rest of things.

Road Romeo or Smart Romeo

There is no doubt in my mind that Smart Romeo over the edge to Road Romeo. Because the road romeo is fickle, rash, stupid and impatient. That might be true in most of the Road Romeo. A similar analogy of Book Smarts versus Street Smarts, its exactly opposite. Road Romeo’s and Street Smarts means to have situational awareness. They can assess the limitations and available options. They have strong intuition, own judgement about people and matters. These skills no doubt have greater value in life regardless how far one is achieving success. As all this comes from experience. It will help to consider (good or bad) and improve. The distinction between Road Romeo, Street Smart and Smart Romeo, Book Smart is the who is at the center of the love or knowledge. On the road or street, it’s you. In other case its someone else is being absorbed. Because they have put themselves at risk, survived, thrived or have scars. The situation has tested and there is a loads of courage during tested time again.

Smart Romeo and Book Smarts are ones who are good at following the rules. They enjoy playing some indoor activities, size or volume and knowledge are only vital tools they have for the real world situations. How to handle a tough situation is a world away from actually being in one. May be they learn difference after it is too late. It’s quite unfortunate to see that, they are trying to assimilate more knowledge through books and degree; rather than recognizing they are trying to improve the wrong skills. Are they half blind?

Loratis ‘Orientation Program’

Touch Me!

When I shake hand with a person using my right hand, I touch the elbow of the person with my left hand and it has created powerful result. I learnt this from a research article ‘The Phone Booth Test’, experiments conducted by researchers from The University of Minnesota. They placed the coin on the edge of a telephone booth, waited for unsuspecting subject to walk in and find it When this happened, one of the researchers would approach the subject and say, ‘Did you happen to see my coin in that phone booth? I need it to make another call.’ Only 23% of the subjects admitted they had found it and gave it back.

In the second part of the study, the coin was again placed in the phone booth but when the researchers approached the people who took it, they touched them lightly on the elbow for not longer than three seconds and inquired about the coin. This time, 68% admitted to having the coin, looked embar- rassed and said things like, ‘I was looking around to try to see who owned it…’

This shows that skillful elbow-touching can give three times better results to achieve. There are three reasons this technique works: first, the elbow is considered a public space and is far away from intimate parts of the body; second, touching a stranger is not considered acceptable in most countries so it creates an impression; and third, a light, three-second elbow touch creates a momentary bond between two people. When we replicated this experiment for a television programme, it was found the coin return rate varied from culture to culture depending on what the normal touch frequency was in a particular place. For example, with elbow touching, the coin was returned by 72% of Australians, 70% of English, 85% of Germans, 50% of French and 22% of Italians. This result shows how the elbow touch works better in places where frequent touching is not the cultural norm. The touch frequencies (were recorded) between people in outdoor cafes in many of the countries we regularly visit and noted 220 touches an hour in Rome, 142 per hour in Paris, 25 touches an hour in Sydney, 4 per hour in New York and 0 per hour in London. This confirms that the more British or German your heritage, the less likely you are to touch others and, therefore, the more successful an elbow
touch will be on you.

Overall, it was found that women were four times more likely to touch another woman than was a man to touch another man. In many places, touching a stranger above or below the elbow did not produce the same positive results as with directly touching the elbow and often received negative reactions. Touching for more than three seconds also received a negative response, with the person suddenly looking down at your hand to see what you are doing.

Loratis Workshop ‘The Art of Communication’ at NGI